Distraction. I need a Distraction.

I really want to eat chocolate. There are two tubs of sweets in the kitchen, an unopened tub of Celebrations and a mixed tub of Roses, Quality Street and Celebrations.  It's my own fault. I bought too much. The on line shopping was easily done, but it was also esay to just hit a button and order whatever, forgetting how much was already on the list. Hence, about five different types of savoury biscuits and far too many sweets arrived. I feel bad that it's all sitting there and TMM will end up eating most of it. It's as if I'm enabling him, his unhealthy food pusher. He's a grown man, he can make his own food decisions, but I still feel guilty.

I'm writing about it in order to stop me eating it. It gets the feelings off my chest. It won't necessarily stop me altogether, but at least while I'm expressing myself, I'm not chowing down. It makes me stop and ask myself, "Is it worth it? Do I really want those chocolates more than I want to keep my Christmas weight under control?" I've had all sorts of weight loss issues on Christmases past. From good losses to massive gains and the STSs in between. While I'm on a roll at the moment, basking in the weight loss zone, I might as well try my damnedest to stay away from unplanned calorie expenditure. So. No chocolates.

Another reason to stay within allowance is the size 12 clothing I bought in the sales today, jeans, joggers and a top. 

Yes, you read that right. Size 12!!! I can't help thinking that they've been mis-labelled, sized incorrectly. No way am I actually a 12. They are from Marks and Spencer. The jeans are "relaxed slim" fit. They are proper denim, not stretchy, so it's not a cheat that way. The top is a pretty wee, three-quarter sleeve tee shirt. It's a decent fit. I bought a few bras in the sale too. I had some vouchers to spend, and I needed underwear that fits properly. I actually took the time to try them on. Depending on make and style, I seem to be a 36C. That's a big change from some of my 40EE bras of the past! Much easier to find, though not in the sale. My new size seems to sell out! Pros and cons to being a bit more average.

Anyway, these are my first size 12s since I can't remember when. 1990? Maybe a bit before then? I honestly don't know. I won't believe I'm really that size till a few different shop's size fits me, say Marksies, ASDA and Primark. Whatever though, it's all a step in the direction of maintenance. 

So. Did it work? Did I eat chocolate? Well, that took about half an hour or so, so I was distracted for that long. And now I'm thinking of being a size 12, so hopefully that will deter me for a while yet.

Fingers crossed.

Mid way through Christmas week

I had two days of food excess. Christmas Day and Boxing Day were the two days that I over ate, big style. I reckon I ate roughly 6000 calories on each day. There was constant grazing on chocolate, and a couple of big goes at the cheeses and different crackers and savoury biscuits that I'd been very much looking forward to. 

This time last year, if you'd told me I was going to be a size 18, I'd have been delighted. Any size starting with a 1 instead of a 2, given I was used to being a size 24 or bigger. A size 16? That would have had me running  up and down the street naked in celebration. Size 16 always felt like a breakthrough size for me, break through in to normality.  And a size 14? Well, that would have been unthinkable.  And here I am. A size 14. I'm very happy. But. Uh huh. There's a "but." I feel slim and healthy. I like how I look in the mirror. But I don't like how I look in photos. I don't look as slim in photos. So now I'm thinking that 149lb is not the goal weight for me. I might actually go for 136lb, which would take me to the very top end of the healthy BMI range for my height. That's a stone away. I'll see how I feel. I'm not in a hurry. I'm still getting used to what I see in the mirror.

I've had some fun over the Christmas break. On Boxing Day, I went swimming in the sea. Just coz I could :-)

In the act. How are we managing to smile when I couldn't feel any of my appendages?

Afterwards.  I ws very impressed with my organizational skills.  I remembered to bring a fleecy, Christmas onesie, which was very cozy.

CB, my cousin's hubby is part of a group who go sea swimming all year round. I can say without fear of debate or contradiction that it was jolly cold! But it was good craic and I'm really glad I did it. Than it was back to CB's house, where BB had made a big fry up. Loads of fried carnivorous fare and stereotypical Norn Irish bread, chocolate buns and gall9ns of coffee later, I was warmed up and very sated. The rest of Boxing Day was filed with more grazing on chocolate and cheese. There were mamy slices of Christmas cake and stollen in there somewhere too.

After the two days of confectionery, I'm now using up food, especially vegetables. I don't want anything to be wasted.  So yesterday entailed eating a lot of fresh Brussels Sprouts and a big pot of broccoli and cauliflower soup. Yes, my farts are pretty ripe today and you wouldn't want to be the one who has to clean my cage later.

As for weight, anything below 153lb will be a win. The 149lb on Christmas morning always seemed ridiculously low, so I won't be surprised if it's a bit above that on Sunday, and that's even before I consider my couple of 6000 cal days. I have been on track since then though. No exercise, so I've stuck to 1200 cals, pretty much exactly.  It's not easy with the amount of stuff that's still in the house, but so far so good.

Brief hiatus

I have had nearly a full fortnight off exercise. Running especially.  The result is now my achilles feels almost perfect and I'm itching for a run. And in the meantime? I've lost about 5lb! Unofficially. Maybe it was the break in routine that my body needed after over a solid month of running. Whatever the reason, thank you to the weight loss gods.

It's looking as if I will go in to Christmas Day, my day of planned excess, of chocolate, cheese, condiments and stuffed meats, a couple of pounds under my goal. That will give me some wiggle room so I'll hopefully not be too far off goal when the new year hits. I'd love to start on a high. Though in fairness, I'm pretty high regardless. I have heels on today, making me about 5' 5" tall. With today's unofficial weight of 149lb, that makes me a BMI of 24.7. Teehee. If only I were three inches taller.  But no. I like being a short arse, so I'll just enjoy the novelty for today :-)

TMM is working today, so I have a few messages to do, then it's up to my mum's with all my sibs and a few family friends. It's Christmas Eve tradition to eat Mum out of house and home. Home made chicken soup and chicken sandwiches.

I'm well and truly excited, even down to putting the Christmas duvet on the bed. I'll get home from Mum's about midnight, then TMM and I can go to bed for the last sleep before Christmas.

Happy Christmas!!!

Christmas excitement is building!

I'm officially feeling Christmassy. In fact, the Christmassyness is hanging clean outta me! Even looking at the date written down is making me excited - 21/12/16, 21st Dec 2016, woo hoo!!! I've got my Rudolf jumper on and my snowman earrings, and the jumper actually plays "Rudolf, The Red Nosed Reindeer!"

Not to mention my hat, with the lights and the tinsel.

Oh yes! I'm officially what my OH calls, "A Christmas Nightmare!" :-) I have a constant squirrly feeling in my tum, and a tingle in my joints. Yeah, I know it sounds like an illness, but it's all good, I swear.

As usually happens, I had a brilliant idea for The Main Man's pressie, but it only hit me two days ago. And I needed to order it on line. Bum! But a couple of emails to a very helpful chap, and my parcel arrived to work today. So exciting!!! I shopped at the Christmas market in Belfast last night too, so now TMM is well set. I can't wait to see his face. He doesn't read my blog, but I'm keeping schtum till after I present him with his present. Just in case :-)

Food is back on track. I've been feeling uber controlled and very happy with myself. The colder weather has curtailed my enthusiasm for running this week, and I've let my sore Achilles give me an excuse. So I've earned no exercise cals since Saturday. But I don't feel guilty. In fact, I'm pretty chuffed that I've managed to eat within thirty cals of my 1200 each day, even without extras. I feel lighter, if that makes sense. I'm hoping for a good result this week, but one way or the other, I'm going to enjoy myself on Christmas day, and start fresh on Boxing Day!

Copying my blog

I'm not sure why. Maybe in an effort to recapture a bit of what I had with WW on line, I'm copying my blog on to myfitnesspal. I suppose my mind likes the idea of everything being in one place. It tidies things up. Blog, tracker, exercise linked in with Runkeeper, all under one roof, as it were. As I looked at it, about to copy every entry from the last nine months, I read some of it. It made me see from a fresh perspective just how far I've come. Okay, so there are a few things that I still don't like, and I've a few pounds still to lose, but the difference is immense, and I'm really happy with myself.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas, to having a few days off with TMM, and just relaxing. I'm going to try very hard not to let too much of my holiday revolve around food. Surely I can socialize without having to eat constantly. I know it's how we show our friends and family that we love them. We prepare meals, and hope that they'll show their appreciation by enjoying them. But I'd like to just enjoy a person's company without feeling under pressure to eat things that just aren't worth the calorie expenditure to me. Now, having said that, I don't want to be anal about eating nothing nice. I think I'll plan a wee spluge on choccies at some point of Christmas day. Hopefullt, I'll start the day, with TMM, with an early morning run. It makes us feel so smug for the rest of the day, as if we've earned our pressies and our dinner :-)

And speaking of running. My 5k this morning was good.

A decent pace (for me!) without killing myself and the weather was really mild in comparison to last week. I'm thinking of getting another pair of Vibrams. My current ones are brilliant, still the most amazingly comfy shoes I've ever run in, and I've now done over 160km in them. I'll need to change them around the 500km mark, I think. The Vibram website has a sale on, but it's only in America. Booooooo hiss. Tempting me with fabulous prices, but not being able to ship them to me :-( Dang!