Staying schtum for a while

First off, happy St Patrick's Day!

I wonder how long it will be before my weight loss becomes noticeable. I didn't tell TMM I lost weight this week. He doesn't know that I weighed myself in the first place, just knows that I'm steering clear of shity food. I want to stay quiet about it to everyone else too. I've been here too many times before. So I'm not going to tell Mum either. At over eighteen stone, it's going to be some time before anything is apparent. Mum means well. She's very supportive, but it's just more pressure when people know. I'll go to see her tomorrow after work and I'll stay the night as I usually do. I will just eat what is set in front of me for tea and breakfast, and I'll work round planning my food for the rest of the day. I really would like to stay schtum till she notices for herself. That will take months at my size, so I don't know if I will manage it. I'm not great at keeping stuff about myself quiet (kind of obvious, as I'm blogging to the possibility of no one and/or everyone on the interweb!) so I might give in after a while. 

Not a triumphant day yesterday. The Main Man called me, as I was getting the train after work, to say he was getting the bits in for tea. Great, I didn't have to cook. It's a beautiful thing, to be cooked for, especially after a day's work. But his tea consisted of chips, egg, beans and sausages. All of those things are dead on individually, or even all together in moderation, but the plateful he gave me was far from moderate. And because it'd been cooked for me, there was no way I was turning it down. My will power just wasn't good enough to eat only two of the four sausages, or one of the two eggs. Damn. This is part of the problem of not fully disclosing my eating plans to him. I should still have left some of the food. Two of the sausages could have been kept for the next day. It would have made all the difference to my cal total for the day.

But let me look at the positive side of this. I stopped there. I know I said something similar two days ago, after the jelly sweets incident, but it's true of yesterday too. Depending on my frame of mind, I could easily have thought, "Oh fuck it! I'll just have some chocolate or ice cream now. I might as well. I've ruined the day anyway." Instead, I totted up how over my calorie allowance I went, wrote it down (well, typed it into my phone) and moved on. I made some lemongrass and ginger tea and didn't eat any of The Main Man's caramel wafer biscuits. 

The other thing to bear in mind is that I need to keep yesterday's food in perspective.  Even at a couple of hundred calories over, it was still only a 1400 calorie day. That's not a fat day by any adult female standards especially an obese adult female. 

So I can try to eat slightly fewer calls today (I will take charge of cooking the tea) and maybe suggest a short walk with TMM. That would make me feel as if I'd made an effort.