I was on the train and I found myself looking at another woman wondering that very thing. I'm obese. There's no getting away from the fact that I'm morbidly obese. What a horrendous phrase. But I forget what I actually look like. In my head, I look quite different to my reality. Every once in a while though, I catch sight of myself in a shop window and there's no pretending anymore that I look normal. When I look in the full length mirror at home, if I look front on, I don't look too bad. Sideways on is another story. Which I avoid. So when I see someone else who's very overweight, I find myself wondering if that's what I look like. It's as if by looking at a stranger I can get perspective on what I look like to that same stranger.
I know it's all a bit narcissistic, but I suppose when I'm very fat, I can't help being a bit obsessed with how I look, especially how others perceive me. I shouldn't care what random people on the street think of how I look. But I do. Go figure. I've been checking out my face. For someone who topped eighteen and a half stone, I had only just started to get a double chin. I'm hopeful that that will go away quite quickly. I have good cheek bones when my face thins down a bit. I'd really like to see them back again.
I've noticed that some of my trousers are starting to go a bit on the inside thighs, develope tears along the seams. I hope they last a bit longer with a little care and repair. Perhaps I could be a size smaller when I have to replace them. I love ASDA's clothes as I lose weight. They're cheap, so I never mind if I need to buy smaller ones a couple of months later.
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