157.8lb

I'm a day late in posting this because I was sulking. It was very painful to write that weight as the blog title. And I spent a good part of yesterday persuading myself to be honest and not just spoof that I'd stayed the same instead of owning up to a gain of 1.2lb. It's still hard to say that.

I didn't do anything different this week. Maybe I ate a few more of my exercise calories, but I stayed within allowance if I add those in. Even the gorgeous strawberry sundae from Saturday was counted.

So I don't know what's going on. Perhaps my body is just telling me that it needs to acclimatize to its new size? It's telling me to slow down? So long as it's not calling a halt to proceedings altogether. There's no way that a five foot two body should be saying it's at it's ideal weight at eleven stone four! I should be able to lose another stone with ease and I'd still be considered heavy for my height, according to charts. Not that I intend to let charts and tables dictate what weight I'm happy at. This is not the result I'd hoped to post this week. I was so close to getting below eleven stone before the New Year. It could still happen, but it's looking less than likely.

I couldn't help myself. I had a sneak peek this morning before my shower. It didn't help or console me. It was heavier again! Damn and blast. What am I gonna do this week to keep myself going? I need to keep things in perspective and not panic. TMM is worried about me taking drastic action, starving myself or taking to running twice a day. Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could do either of those. 1200 cals a day is as low as I want to go. It can be hard enough to stick to. I managed yesterday though, which I was pleased with. And the running? Once a day is enough, especially as I'm trying to avoid injury. My left achilles is defo a bit weaker at the mo.

For me, gaining at the moment isn't so much about the extra pounds, though that's not great, as much as it's about the fear of losing control again and ending up back where I started. I know this week's gain isn't a real one, the result of overeating. It's not an unhealthy gain, it's a just-one-of -those-things sort of gain. Whatever the reason, I just have to suck it up and get on with things. Do what TMM says, and think of the big picture, how well I've done, regardless of this week's weight. If I think about where I was last Christmas, that should keep me on the straight and narrow.

Okay. I feel better for 'fessing up and getting it off my chest. Whinge officially over! :-))