Nose back to the grindstone. Blahhhhh!

I miss Edinburgh!

D'ya know something? I think I've found it harder to stay on track yesterday and day, at home and work, than I did in Edinburgh.  With my nose well and truly back to the grindstone today, we were super busy at work. That should have distracted me, as I really hardly had time to lift my head. But I couldn't help thinking a bit about food. Here I am, back in control, and I was worried about my calorie use today. Yesterday I had a calorie heavy brunch, so had to go light at dinner. I forwent noodles or rice with my chicken curry. At least that way, I was able to have a really decent sized bowl of curry. Today I had no breakfast as such, as usual on a working day. I started things with coffee and Dark Fizzy Master. Then I had my "Raw Stuff" lunch of chopped up apple, celery, carrot and cherry tomatoes. I have it saved as a meal on mfp as "Raw Stuff" because I eat it a lot. I was able to fend off any sweet attack because I had bought a little box of sugar free boiled sweets, butterscotch flavour.

If I sucked them very slowly (ooo er, fnnar fnnar!) I was able to make them last for ages. While I counted the calories in the whole box, I only finished half of them, so the other half are available and already counted for tomorrow. Result! I was pretty lucky when I got home from work. I was hungry, not off the charts starving, and my gorgeous other half already had dinner mostly ready. So I went home to a lovely home cooked chicken. potato, carrot and broccoli dinner. Yummo!

Keeping me in check, as far as eating too much is concerned, was the way I felt on the scales yesterday morning when I lost four pounds, as well as how I felt today when I went to work wearing size sixteen jeggings and a red, size sixteen top. I felt as if I looked a million dollars. I walked to the train station, head held high, and with a definite spring in my step. I stood more in the office, aware that I looked better that way. I know it's vain. I know. I can't help it.This is what I meant when I said the other day that I could become unbearable. God, I really hope that I don't. I stood more at the office because I knew it looked better? Who am I, Elizabeth Bennett???  "Can I persuade you to take a turn about the room?" And I was generally nicer to everyone, just because I felt good about how I looked. Yes, I'm just that shallow. And what's worse, I even have tomorrow's outfit already picked out! I need help.

And I realized, not for the first time, that I am a hypocrite. I spouted on a few posts ago about not caring about the size of our clothes, about how unimportant the stupid label in the neck of a top or on the waist band of a pair of jeans is. And you know what, I was still delighted to buy clothes in a size sixteen a couple of days ago. I can't help it. I do care about size. I'm a wee bit ashamed of myself for not practicing what I preach, because I might as well face it, I'm aiming to get down at least one more size, maybe two. I know it doesn't make me a horrible person, just human, and a tad vain. I just wish I was a little less shallow.