Shocker!

I nearly had a heart attack. There was a comment on my blog! First one ever! Good grief. I almost died from the shock. It made me smile :-) Nice start to the week, despite the fact that my motivation issues are still in play, and I didn't go running this morning. I'm using my brain too much, not something I usually accuse myself of. I need to just get out of bed, and not think about it, get into the habit of getting up as soon as the alarm goes. I don't have to run each time. I can do a DVD or some body weight exercises. But if I set a precedent of awaking, getting out of bed and getting dressed straight away, I'll stop thinking about it and questioning myself.

Today I might have done no exercise, but I have blogged, so part of my more disciplined week is in action. CB and I text again, and he went for a cycle, so now I'm honour bound to run in the morning. My gear is all set out already. A five k is on the cards.

I spoke to Penfold, and we're going for coffee some time this week. We haven't seen much of each other since we stopped going to the class on Wednesday nights, so it will be good to get caught up. She says she's just not feeling the weight loss vibe at the moment. I know what that's like. It's the most frustrating feeling in the world to know you should do something, for the sake of your health, not to mention self esteem, but not have the umph to do it. For me, the self loathing that that leads to is totally self defeating, but hard to avoid. And the further into the cycle I slip, the harder it is to get out of. I get mired down and can easily end up wallowing. Thankfully for me, that's not where I am at the mo, but it's very much a "there but for the grace of God..." situation. So if Penfold and I do go out some evening this week, I hope I can gee her up a bit. I don't mean in a "you need to lose weight" sort of way, rather in a "feel good about yourself regardless of weight" sort of way. In a "get together, have a bit of craic and a laugh, and come away having had a good time for an hour or two" sort of way.

I did a clear out of a few bits of clothing. There are a few pairs of trousers that I love wearing, but they are much too big for me now, so they do nothing for me, so I had to be ruthless, and dump them. I was sorry to see them go, but delighted at the same time that they're going because I'm too small for them. It's not a problem that I mind having. I hope it continues.While I'm changing in size and shape, I will be buying cheap clothes. I will stick to getting stuff in ASDA. It would be daft to buy nice things, only to have to get rid of them in a month or two (hopefully) I'll save anything that I really want till I'm a bit smaller.

Food wise, today I was careful to ensure that everything that passed my lips was calorie counted. If I consumed it, I counted it. Black coffee? Zero drinks? Even they were added in. Did you know that the ASDA Zero Sugar Mango Crush has eight calories in a two litre bottle? Not everyone is going to drink all two litres, but I think I established a long time ago that I'm a hallion, so two litres of low cal liquid is a mere trifle to me. That eighty calories would soon mount up if I didn't count it. So even though the cals in a mug of black coffee are negligible (usually less than ten) I count every cup I have. I really want to lose four ponds this week, or at least three and a half, to get under fourteen stone, hence the obsessive food tracking.

And finally, my Dr Marten bag arrived. My reward for getting to four stone loss.

It's gorgeous! And enormous. I'd no idea of it's titanic proportions. But I love it. And it matches my green DMs exactly, so what's not to love. All I have to aim for now is the green Gretsch guitar when I hit 139lbs. That's a way off yet, but not impossible. Watch this space.