Out of sync

No weight as a title today. I was at Mum's overnight and as her scales hate me with a passion, there's no way I was standing on them, as I wouldn't have believed what they said anyway. So ,no point in depressing myself. I'll wait till tomorrow morning.

I was at an engagement party last night. I didn't realize that it was going to be a BBQ, but thankfully Mum did, so she made me scrambled eggs and smoked salmon before I left. That was more than enough to fill me, and I can honestly say that I didn't feel tempted by the burgers, even though they smelt great. I was there with my sisters, and Curly had one. It looked lovely, but I didn't get hung up on the fact that I wasn't having one. Sometimes on occasions like that, the fact that I wasn't eating would play on my mind, but not last night. Other times, if I was eating, I'd be very conscious of eating too much. I'd want more, but be aware that I didn't want other people to see how much I was eating, or how many times I was going back to fill my plate. I know I could easily eat three burgers. And different sides, like potato salad. These occasions can be a massive exercise in frustration for me. Either I'm not eating, and envious of everyone who is, or I'm eating, and afraid to eat as greedily as I'd really like to.

The girl whose party it was, AM, is a cousin of mine, and she's asked me to sing at the wedding service. I'm always in two minds when this happens. I like a wee chance to show off, and I genuinely enjoy singing and playing the guitar for people, but I also get extremely nervous about it. Still, at least it's almost a year away, 07/07/17, so I have plenty of time to learn the two songs. Coincidentally, that's almost exactly the date I set to get to my target weight of 139lbs. I set a goal on Runkeeper and it keeps track of where I am, and what percentage of the loss I'm at. I set the goal on the 12th of June, and have lost fourteen pounds of seventy-five since then. I'm 18% towards goal. It would be amazing to be there, or at least very close to there by the wedding. I'd love to get something nice to wear, that made me look slim, because I'd actually be slim. So now I have not just a date, but a concrete event to work towards. More motivation.

A girl I know on Facebook was talking about her old blog yesterday. A  lot of us blogged when we were using Weightwatchers On Line, and now these blogs are going to be closed down as part of the changes that WW are making. She was wondering if she could still access hers. Someone posted a link, and through that, not only did she find her blog, but I found mine. It was really fun to read what I was writing three or four years ago. I was so full of hope that I was going to get to goal that time. I'd done so well. It's annoying that I let myself gain weight again. Still, I read a post on the !st of Jan 2013, and I was full of hope and motivation. I was 181lbs and I felt brilliant. That's not so very far from where I am now, so I'm doing well.

Apparently there's a way to save the blogs before they are deleted, so I must try that. I'd hate to lose it irrevocably.