147.8lb

My weight this morning was a bit up again. I talked about fluctuations yesterday, but my Sunday weight is sort of the one that I count, so this feels like a gain, not a daily blip. It's no major cause for alarm, but I do need to look back over my week and make an adjustment obviously. Maybe I'm eating too many of my running calories. One way or the other, I'm keeping an eye on things because I'm not going to start gaining again. I've been so close to goal too many times to screw it up, now I'm actually here and happy.

This week, TMM and I are off work. We have a couple of theatre trips planned and a pizza night with friends. We are also going to ask his mum and mine out for lunch. I'm going to be extra vigilant about my calories on all these occasions. Every wee mouthful will be counted. And I'm definitely going to run on the days I'm eating out, starting with tomorrow, which is my pizza day. That's going to be high calorie and I was going to go on a long run to counteract it. But I ran a lot yesterday, and my hip is sore today, so I'm resting today and will probably go a bit easier than I really want to in the morning. I'd rather do that than injure myself. I got TMM to help me tape my hip. And I did the usual to my knee and Achilles. I'm a work of art! Today, while I didn't run, TMM and I did go for a walk, so I earned a few cals. And there was eye candy aplenty. 

I won't deny I'm scared.  Scared of getting complacent and getting big again and also scared of becoming anal and obsessive about not gaining. I know it's about finding a balance and its early days so I can't expect to be there yet. I just have to stay focused for a bit, while retaining some perspective. Easy peasy. How hard could it be??? Teehee :-D

155.2lb

Phew! Down 2.4lbs on last week. So that's the gain gone, with just over a pound extra. Meaning I'm 2.2lbs away from my goal. Once there, I'm not sure what I'll do. I don't look as slim in photos as I do in my head, or indeed in comparison to what I think I see in the mirror.  I can see me not being happy to stay at ten stone thirteen. But I'll get there first and see.

It's been hard to stay away from the cheese and crackers in the house the last few days. Sticking to 1200 cals hasn't been easy. I haven't had a run since Tuesday.  My achilles is feeling much better but I haven't earned many extra calories.  I'm going to go for a run in the morning before work. I'll take it easy, just pootle for 5k, which should earn about 400 cals.  I'll feel better about my efforts when I get that under my belt. My thirty day challenge went to the wall after day 25. Just five more days would have completed it. But I've gained some core strength, so I'll build on that.

One week to Christmas.  I weigh in on Christmas morning, since it's a Sunday this year. Then it's over to a day of excess. One day. I'm going to allow myself a day full of cheese, chocolate, condiments and stuffed meats. Then the following day, I intend to be back on it with zeal, starting with a Boxing Day swim in the sea at Donaghadee, with a group called the Chunky Dunkers. Sounds nuts, but I'll give it a go.

Edinburgh: Day three - just pottering about

Have I had too much time on my hands for someone who's away? I've written more in the last week than I have since I started blogging. It's probably just that I have more to write, I suppose, as I'm away from home and out of my comfort zone. Also, TMM falls asleep relatively early, meaning I can spend time writing before I go to bed.

We've been so lucky with the weather these last few days. There have been a few sharp showers, but in the main, it's been sunny. And very windy, which I love! But who cares about the rain? Anyway, there's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes. We have probably been around the city completely about three times in total, with the amount of walking we've done in the past three days. Day three, we had no where specific to be, so we left the hotel relatively early, just after nine and wandered till we found a cafe we liked the look of. 

Bacon roll and chai tea

This was a fairly sensible choice at this place. I could have gone for wholemeal toast, or porridge, or a sweet pastery, but these days, I prefer to temper my carbs with some protein. Even with the streaky bacon, it was not a calorie laden breakfast. It was just one roll.

On our coffee break that avo, I had a bag of salted popcorn and some dark chocolate that I'd bought a couple of nights ago. And after our walking about the town all day, Runkeeper told me we'd earned about 900 calories, so I reckon I could eat and enjoy the chocolate without guilt. 

Steps totals for the last three days, in the uber hilly Burgh of Edin

We've been in a Starbucks and a Nero, but for the most part have used non chain type places. And have only used local restaurants for dinner. Mmm, that haggis was gorgeous. I wonder where I can buy it in Norn Irn.

Day three's dinner was a seafood and steak place just round the corner from the hotel. That was the most sybaritic of my meals while I've been here. There was cream involved in the sauce and a whole cheese board to myself! Naughty Terry! In all honesty, I enjoyed it immensely and feel no guilt at all. I ordered a shellfish plater, and I'm gutted that I forgot to take a photo of it to show y'all, because when it arrived, it looked amazeballs. And when I'd finished with it? It looked like the shell of a burnt out helicopter. Now, that I remembered to photograph. I worked hard at my food tonight. I probably earned the calories as I deshelled the crabs and mussels!

The empty shells after I'd attacked my dinner

This has been a lovely break. It was amazing to get away with TMM. It's not something we do very often, so it felt indulgent. And eating out for breakfast, lunch and dinner feels hedanistic too.  But it's been a break with a difference for me too, because I genuinely have managed to eat well. I've had the choice to go mental and have sticky toffee pudding every night if I wanted to or to visit the fudge shop and eat the entire stock. But I actually didn't want to. I weighed up my options and decided that leaving Edinburgh, having enjoyed my food without making a pig of myself was what I wanted.  I don't always managed to make that decision, so I'm going to savour it and continue to do it while it lasts.

I have so enjoyed looking like a regular Joe (Josephine?) on this trip and the ease with which I was able to walk about for hours and keep up with TMM. All because of weight loss. It's worth not having a caramel square with my coffee if I continue to feel like this. 

Edinburgh: Day two - Coping rightly

Me being a sentry at the castle

This living life, and eating healthily, it's all about coping like a normal person and trying to not eat like my true fat personality would have me do. My natural inclination is toward excess. It always has been, in everything.  If I go on a knitting jag, I'll knit every day for six months, till I'm sick of it, then not touch my needles again for two years. Or with exercise, I will run five times a week for a year, then avoid it like the plague till I'm fat again, and can't run a step. The same applies to my eating and dieting. The most I've ever managed is two years, before going off the rails and regaining the weight. I know I need a change of attitude, a way to moderate my naturally obsessive, addictive personality. I go, ram stam, gung-ho into stuff. So if I could avoid that a bit this time, it might go some way towards making my results last. Actually, I guess it's a bit late to avoid my excessive behaviour altogether. You can't lose six stone in seven months without a little obsession. But if I could ease it off a little, now I've got less to lose, it might help. That's why I feel my first day here was a success. I had a sensible brekkie, avoided sweet stuff with my coffee, but then allowed myself to have a small dessert later. And no massive portions or going back for more. Maybe it's like being a recovering alcoholic.  I'll never have it beaten and there's always a chance I could fall off the wagon, but with awareness, I can stop it beating me.

Day two's first NSV was the bath towel from the hotel en suite fully encompassed me. Not with much of an overlap, I'll grant ya, but there's no way in Hell that would have been even close to happening six months ago. The next NSV was the steep walk up Arthur's seat. It was very tough going, and got steep immediately. But I was absolutely able to do it. Fitness wise anyway. My fear of heights meant that we got about half way before I had to call it a day. We walked for about an hour and a half, and a lot of it was very hard work. So I didn't make it to the top, but I earned a fair few calories regardless. With Arther's Seat, the castle and just walking all over the town, today we were walking for over four hours.

View from the castle

I was good with my food again. I'm pleased that I've so far managed to keep food under control, despite being away from home. We went walking before eating today, so we found a great wee cafe on the Royal Mile, quite close to the castle, to eat afterwards.

Picturesque street view at lunch time

We both had a bagel, with smoked salmon and cream cheese. It wasn't overly calorific, and I really enjoyed it.

Then in Caffe Nero* I again, as before, had just the coffee as I rejavinated myself, while TMM had tea and a bun. Despite knowing that I had earned a few hundred calories with the hilly Arthur's Seat alone, I decided that I'd rather keep them in hand, in case I fancied an extravagant dessert later. As it was, later TMM and I shared a small cheese board as dessert, and it wasn't overly high in calories, as the portions were small, especially when divided into two. My dinner was exactly what I'd wanted, haggis, neeps and tatties. That's haggis, turnip and potatoes to the uninitiated. And it was gorgeous. Again, we steered clear of starters so we could have afters without guilt. Is this that illusive moderation of which I spoke earlier?

All I have to do now, is avoid that darn fudge shop that I visited three years ago with my Weightwatcher friends. I was sure that I wouldn't find it, but of course, TMM and I walked right past it. Damn and blast it! I will not actively seek it out again.

So, that was it yesterday. Lots of walking and some good, honest food. Portions were "real person" portions, and not me and TMM portions. Despite the fact that TMM and I always say we eat with our eyes, and like to see a full plate, we were totally satisfied with what we had today. We need to down size our potons at home.

Today will consist of a bit of shopping and a bit more walking. I need a hair brush. Seriously, what sort of idiot, with hair all the way down her back, comes away without a hairbrush? And TMM wants to check out record shops. There's still a chance I will buy that jacket in H & M too. I need a little restraint in my shopping habits as well as my food!

*Other coffee shops available, but Nero is my favourite of the chains.

A day of Non Scales Victories

View from my seat as we left Belfast

It has been the most amazing day today. TMM and I rarely go away together, so that in itself was reason to be happy, but so many other things were good for me, revolving round my weight and health. The first thing was the plane seat. It was comfortable! More than that, there was room to spare, and it wasn't a massive seat. I wasn't even touching the arm rests. I am far from skinny. I have no illusions. But that seat was not too small for me. I can't tell you how happy that made me. I actually felt a bit teary. And there was room to spare with the seat belt too. No extension necessary. I can not over emphasize how embarrassing it is to have to ask for that sort of help. I know I'm a bit obsessed with my own norks at the minute, but here's a pic of me with my seat belt. Yeah, I'm a tad narcissistic at the mo. Hopefully it will wear off, otherwise I will become unbearable.

Next thing was a trip to H & M. A girl on FB mentioned a bomber jacket she got there, and there was a photo of her wearing it. I really liked it. It was khaki, which I'm really into at the minute. So when I saw a H & M in Edinburgh, I called in with TMM, to try it on. The one I found was not exactly the same, but I found a size 16, and had a go, despite being pretty sure that a sixteen would be too small. Well, cut my legs off and call me Shorty, it only went and fit. And fit well. Not too tight, not stretched. And TMM said it looked well on me. I was very tempted to buy it there and then. But I decided to keep my powder dry and possibly buy it when I get back to Belfast. I really liked it.

On the subject of clothing, on our way out to dinner this evening, TMM offered me his jumper to wear over my dress. It not only fitted me, it looked good. I adore fitting in to his clothes almost as much as I love weighing less than him!

The main win today has been the ease with which I was able to walk around. We were on our feet all day, and walked about the city centre. Edinburgh is one heck of a hilly city, and I managed it, no problem. Of course, walking up to Arthur's Seat may be on entirely another level (literally.) I hadn't realized quite how high it is, so it will be interesting to see if we manage to do it. We're thinking that we will possibly try it tomorrow. I tell you what, if we do, I will have well earned my dinner that day!

Today, I'm made relatively sensible choices. When we went to Starbucks* this afternoon, TMM got a caramel square with his tea, and I exercised great restraint and had just coffee. It was a large bucket of coffee, but just coffee alone, nonetheless. I'm so proud of myself, especially after not having a fry up this morning at the airport.

I had dessert after dinner this evening, but it was two small scoops of vanilla ice cream, with a shot of espresso poured over it. I know that doesn't sound very exciting. Like, why would you even bother to waste the calories? But seriously, it was lovely. Such a simple idea, and so delicious. And because I had dessert, while The Main Man had his sticky toffee pudding, I didn't feel deprived. It wasn't at all high in calories, so I don't feel even a little guilty about it.

My main was a burger with caramelized onions. I got them to leave the cheese off it, so I saved a good handful of cals there. And I asked for a side of seasonal veg. We bought some bits and pieces at a wee shop, to have with coffee in the hotel later, so I went for my usual choice of very high percentage dark chocolate. But I didn't eat any of it. There was no need. I'd had something sweet in the ice cream, and that satisfied me. After dinner, we went for a wee dander, so while it wasn't exactly overly energetic, it was better than going straight home to veg out in front of the telly.

I know it sounds quite boring, but it's at times like this that I'm glad that TMM and I don't drink. Imagine all the calories I would go through if I drank alcohol! Such a waste of good calories that I could be eating!


*other coffee shops available. I especially like Cafe Nero :-)

What we can see from the front door of our hotel

The trip has begun!

I'm on the airport and my flight is in an hour! We're on our way to Edinburgh. Can't wait. TMM and I rarely go away together so I'm excited.  I won't lie though. I'm worried about coping with the foods side of things. But my first test, breakfast here, before out flight, went okay. I avoided a full fry and had scrambled eggs and toast, with no butter. A sensible enough choice. Let the games begin!